Going Slowly, Weighing In

166.2

Well, better than yesterday, but a long way to go.

I have work to do.

I've been pondering - why do I seem to be slowing down?  Is it aging? Is it the weight gain? Is it the natural going into the dormant season, winter, with less daylight and more sleep?

Is it the tender hip? Am I giving it too much say in what I do? Am I using it as an excuse to not do what I need to do?

More questions than answers. Such is life.

I've got allergy meds on board to have a comfortable morning. This is my worst time of year for seasonal allergies; in my 20s, I landed at my first ENT, wishing for them to "make it go away". With a diagnosis of allergic rhinitis and a bottle of nasal spray steroids, I got through that season. My taste for carrots permanently changed.

Nowadays I head for the old standbys - Sudafed and chlortrimeton. I don't like being medicated 24/7 for something that makes me uncomfortable with a 20-minute attack here and there. I really miss another remedy from my 20s - dimetapp liquid gel antihistamine-only. I could take one of those and be good for 3 days. But alas, there is less profit in something that works (because I don't need to buy it again and again / so frequently), and I live in the US, which since the Reagan era has allowed health care to earn profits ... so the dimetapp liqui-gel anithistamine-only remedy disappeared from the OTC market.

"You don't want that," pundits say. "Antihistamines make you tired." 1. Yes, I did want that. 2. No, it did not make me tired.

Sigh.

And the 24-hour medicines proclaim I want 24-hour allergy relief. Actually, I only want 20 minute relief 2 or 3 times a day when my allergies are at their worst. But again, who listens to me?

And on the subject of listening to me - if I am completely honest about a problem, others come up with THEIR solution. On one civic survey I took, I let the powers that be know how important after school child care/supervision was to me. I thought I was saying, "please prioritize funding for this." What they heard was, "She values this enough, she'll pay for it herself and we can fund other things." The price of after school care shot up the next year, double or triple, and it was too much for my budget so I let the tween go unsupervised between school and when I got home from work. Emotionally it was tough. And, burned by that survey, I hesitate before participating in the public sphere again.

Sigh.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant, but there it is.

On to happier notes:

Today I am playing with magnetic false eyelashes since I'll be alone in the office. I could see myself wearing these every day if it's successful. 

I am less than a mile from my next 10-mile badge. So ... I may prioritize walking after work. The day looks to be pleasant enough.

Sending positive energy your way. Do your best to have a good day.

Love & Hugs

Sunday Fall Chatter

 Well, I hobbled my way to the next badge:

Travel wiped out my usual Wednesday blog, and kept me offline on more of my personal time - and I liked it. Continuing the trend. I accidentally walked two miles while I was away from home; I miscalculated the distance, and fortunately suffered no ill effects. I haven’t gone more than 1.6 since before physical therapy this summer. Tried 2 miles again on the Wednesday walk. No ill effects on Thursday. Friday, my hip was tender, and it was on Saturday as well, but I still managed two slow miles attending to proper walking form. Today I’ll rest it again. I’m not sure I can squeeze a walk in Monday, but a Monday-Wednesday-Saturday morning walking schedule makes sense in my mind. We shall see.

In other news, I completed my oversized seasonal puzzle:

I began assembling it on our larger table before our sudden need to travel. I offered to disassemble it to clear the table for DH while we were gone. He was sweet and said, “And have you start over? No.” Now there’s no guarantee I would have started over and completed it. Life goes on. But it was also his way to say he cares about things that are important to me. I was willing to let it go in favor of taking care of the young adults, but he supported me so I could support them. ❤️

Well, I feel the need to get back to offline living. Hugs and love!

Wednesday Weigh-In

 161.7

The scale is too old to sync to our new internet connection. The company even says that software won't be updated on these 'older' models. Grrr.

A change is as good as a rest, says Lynda's mom. Well, I am forced into change. I can still stand on the scale and get a number; but I have no way to check the battery level or review a record so neatly compiled by the software for me.

So I deleted the software. And the worry over the recordkeeping. That was a weight off! I record-keep all day; sometimes too much is just too much. I also started to eat 'no sugar' again. Sometimes anger can be a good motivator. Mad at the scale? I'll show it! I don't need its stupid self to lose weight!

I released a LOT of water the first couple of days. My theory is that sugar retains more water than salt. And, lo and behold, my blood pressure decreased. Hmmm.

This morning I felt like the wind had been taken out of my sails. Oh, yes, we are past the peak of the full moon; and sometimes I feel like I can 'feel' when it's over. Do any of you "feel" the moon?

DD's partner's mom's funeral has been set for Monday. We'll travel up this weekend and back on Tuesday. I am so grateful to DD's coworkers who covered in her absence these last two days. Her young man needed her there. The go fund me has been doing well, although I think they underestimated the costs of the end of life in the U.S. I can immediately think of 3 people who could not afford a cemetery plot and were cremated. It still cost their survivors in the thousands of dollars.

Sorry if this blog is too much of a downer. Thanks for letting me get it out of my system!

Next badge and crushing news

 

240 out of 300 miles. 

“Nice work getting to 240 miles. You’ve got real moxie! 💪”

DD got word Saturday evening that her (serious) boyfriend’s mother died. This young man rushed to another state, and is currently working to make final arrangements. We tentatively plan to travel there this coming weekend. My heart breaks for this young couple. And for DD, that makes four close friends who have lost their mothers in the last two to three years. It’s hard.

Today I am thankful that an old commercial popped into my head and brought a smile to my face. “Time to make the donuts.” Have a good day everyone. It will be a full moon here, so we need to be gentle with ourselves and others. Be kind. Pace yourselves. 

Wednesday Weigh-In & 230 mile badge

 163.0

‘Bully! We are dee-lighted that you have made it to mile 230.’ Well, I’m delighted to have made it, too.

‘“It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.”’

I suppose I could debate that - there’s always dumb luck - but I’ve definitely been resolute (aka stubborn) in pursuing the 300 mile goal, and I can count on the hip for a bit of painful effort. This morning I did 2 of my 4 PT stretches (3 reps each); I shall acknowledge that / give myself credit. Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Beginning Well and Serenely

 33 years ago...DH and I married. No removing the garter with teeth for me - too vulgar and private! But he can remove it with his hands ... and return it to the owner. It was both something borrowed and something blue.

DH did not want cake smashed in his face. He didn’t believe how passionate I was that that would not happen. The symbolism for me is about nurturing and caring for one another, so yes, I insisted we would feed each other bites of cake. He was still hesitant, but obliged.

How quickly the years fly by! Hug your loved ones and savor every moment with them. Life is precious, and good.

The Value of Food Tracking

 It’s easier to type on the laptop, but the picture I want to share is here. Pictures also make my display go wonky, so it will have to wait until the end.

I decided to track today.  I made the decision more than once; first, when I tracked my coffee creamer before work. Then, after I was done eating for the day.

Oh, yeah, I had that breakfast. I had forgotten. Oh, yeah, I hit the vending machine. More forgotten food. Relatively healthy foods for lunch. I didn’t want my banana. I didn’t want my greens. A challenging but successful day at work. Consciously choosing Doritos and ice cream for dinner. I knew I would be over any calorie allowance.

It’s good to raise my food consciousness as I work through busy days and don’t give much thought to consumption. Today, I am not paying attention to the carb-fat-protein ratio. I’m a rather detached observer noting my unconscious consumption, and consumption likely designed to stuff down thoughts and feelings that get in the way of being valued by my work place. Don’t get me wrong - I love my job - but the honesty I love is a two-edged sword. Today I used it well with a coworker: “It’s probably better for me to be at the desk at that time, since I’m better at saying no.” We both knew it was true. And the public complied well when I set the parameter: “We don’t start until the others leave.” I gave a rational, not arbitrary, reason. People are a lot better than they are portrayed....anywhere. We need to choose our heroes carefully. That’s why I have a Yovanovitch shirt. She did her job. She told the truth. She was brave. Omg, I googled to make sure I spelled her name right and learned there’s a book! But boy have I digressed.

Here’s the disastrous day. No, here’s the day. Here’s the honesty of my day’s consumption, as it is, learn what I can from it - both on the page and in my head and heart. Tomorrow is a new day. Oh, I’m going to have to add the Emerson quote, too. Here’s hoping this works!