Boss Lady Level

 

“ Congrats on reaching 200 miles! Keep going strong and remember what coach Angie says, “YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!” “

When I take a moment away from my extended pity party (SparkPeople is dying, my job is hard, my hip hurts again), I am in awe.

200 miles.

That’s what I tried for last year, but only made it to 120.

I’ve got 200 new miles this year. 

Wow.

If I get 100 more, I will open the medal. There are people in the running group who are close to 1,000 miles - I love seeing the virtual badges they earn and hearing of their adventures and accomplishments. They remind me of my love of running, even if I’m not doing it.

OKM is up to jogging a bit. I mentioned to her on my last visit how I admired her running for those who couldn’t - I just never imagined I’d be one of them.  Go ahead and put in a few steps for me, sis 💗 but be careful 🐓🐓🐓

The weather was so nasty hot and humid Thursday that I didn’t get a mile. I was hoping, but... The first time I took Benji out after work, my glasses fogged up just stepping outside, like they do when opening a hot oven. Couldn’t see out of them. I thought, “I’ll walk later, when the heat has lessened a bit.” A few hours later, I open the door to take Benji out again. This time the glasses clouded up - I could see through the haze, but it was enough for me to give up the dream of walking myself. It waited until Friday.

And today the before school busy-ness continues: eye appointment and order new glasses. We’ve finally got some rain, and I hope the effect is to wring out the unbearable humidity. I just had oat bran and a banana for breakfast; a good start to the eating day. And it’s the weekend, so if I am tired, I can rest or nap rather than eat. It’s good to remind myself of that. Hugs & have a great day!

Wednesday Weigh-In

162.5

Feeling hot, hot, hot. As in three-digit F weather. Ugh.

My hip is aching again. The PT added new exercises last time - I blame that. I haven't been icing (OWJ can tell me why that's bad, if it is). I almost took ibuprofen yesterday.

I skipped my walk last night because of the heat. I skipped my lunch and dinner PT stretches. Just having a little sit-down "no" kind of tantrum because I'm sick of it all. I'm sure C19 resurgence stress has NOTHING to do with it. LOL. It's the climate we're in. Ugh. I want to go back and edit that somehow, but I'm just pouring the thoughts onto the electronic page because I still need to get ready and go to work!

It's good that feelings change once they're let out. Unfortunately putting them in writing can give others the wrong impression that you're still feeling a certain way. Yep, like the tides - ebb and flow of feelings. Always there, but gotta stick with the facts.

Like yesterday at work. Boss was not happy that workers came and did something with no one in the organization informing them. It was presented to me (the assistant) as a done deal. "We're going to xyz." Cooperative team player me says, "Okay." Pragmatic me says, "How will we jkl after you xyz?" And they left the tools for jkl in place. But Boss notices the change and wonders why no one told them?   Hazards of a big organization, I'm guessing. Sigh. Or ugh. I'm not sure which.

Well, I got my stretches in this morning. Now I need to go down all the prepare-for-work lists: hair, makeup, jewelry, perfume, eyes, ears, phone, coffee, pack lunch, all clothes on (lol, it's easy to forget a third piece like a jacket over plain black t and pants). Pack Benji's lunch. Take my stretchy band - OKM and I will stay inside this afternoon. I think we're still in a heat advisory. :(

Okay, we'll see if this stays intact and posts. Have a wonderful Wednesday - stay safe and as healthy as you possibly can (omg, one friend had a gangrenous appendix removed this week and another had a heart catheter and goodness I am not liking this getting older stuff!)!

Love & Hugs,  Ace

Pinch, pull, and puppetstrings

I'm learning to walk better.

I pinch my shoulder blades together.

I pull them (metaphorically) into my back pockets - just tucking the corners 'in'. This pulls my head into the correct position.

I imagine puppet strings pulling my legs up at the knees. Not marching; the movement initiated in the quadriceps. If I hear a foot scrape or feel the ponytail swing, I need to make a correction.

"That's a lot to think about!" said my coworker. They're not wrong. But it keeps my mind off other things, which can be a blessing.

In this hot, sticky weather (I remind myself constantly it could be worse), I stay indoors and soak up the air conditioning. Eating is an easy activity to gravitate toward. I must remind myself of other things I can do: read. tidy. strength exercises. get out a puzzle. phone games.

Today is grocery day. Will I win the battle? I'm feeling kind of meat - y this week; but I've never been one to meal plan. What if I don't feel like eating what I've planned? Well, that sounds disgustingly ungrateful! "If you're hungry, you'll eat it," I was taught as a child.

More food relationship unpacking to do. I've always liked the power of no. Saying no when you don't want to eat. But that has social consequences sometimes.

I hate food. I love food. I could go either way.

Limerick Level

 

I’m still chipping away at the 300 mile challenge. My goal is to finish it before daylight savings time ends. I’ll need to kick up my daily game, but I have the dog stroller at the ready!

Walking further

Today was slow, because I felt guilty about leaving Benji alone at home. So I pulled the dog stroller from the basement and took him with me.  Benji was perfect! He sat in the stroller the whole time. I don’t think he’s had that many stroller walks before! But he’s a smart boy, and needs the intellectual input. We managed to get 1.7 miles in all, with several stops to get selfies and pets from strangers. I will learn how my hip feels about this slightly longer walk in time. I’m thinking it’s slow enough that the tenth of a mile more won’t matter much.

Wednesday Weigh-In

160.6

Yeah, it's going the wrong direction. But I'm at a place where I need to be gentle with myself.

When someone pointed out I had done blogs about gratitude on Sparkpeople, I had forgotten. So I looked over there. Oh, yeah, I was trying to go a full calendar year of being grateful for something every day.

Around this time of year, days started doubling up. And then disappeared altogether.

😢

So I've got proof that it's tough.  At least until SparkPeople goes away and those blogs disappear. (No, I'm not 'saving' them.)

Family-wise, we have happy events - birthdays - and sad events - anniversaries of deaths - in July. I dislike the hot and humid July weather. Fourth of July fireworks bother the dog (although not as much as when he was young, thank goodness) and create poor air quality for my walks. Wearing a mask helped with that air quality this year, and nobody stared at me for it - win! They did give me my space, though. I've joked with co-workers about having a mask printed up that says "feeling introverted" for days when I just want people at arm's length or greater.

😂

Well, it's time to dash to work again. I did better yesterday when I allowed myself to sit with the profound sadness of the loss of my brother. And walking with OKM gave me a human connection for that, since she feels the loss as well. It's only been two years.  Feel the feelings - don't eat them!

💔💗

Earned another badge!

“ Fun fact! 180 miles is the distance from top to bottom of the U.S. state of Pennsylvania. Bet you didn’t know that! 🤓”

Feeling pretty good about my progress. The 1.6 was easier today. I made sure to take it more slowly - I think my excitement about increasing distance may have made me push too hard yesterday.

I also got through weekend chores. The hips are tired, but now they can rest. As long as I get up and move every hour so I don’t stiffen up. Patience. Time and patience.

Do. Not. Take. Anything. For. Granted.

As I type that, isn't taking things for granted the definition of entitlement? Hmm. Back to my original track ...

I have been cleared to increase my distance slightly. Although the hip isn't 100 percent, it's been essentially pain free between two visits. No e-stim this time, and I iced at home.

*paused* Thank you for the accountability! I just realized I've been up for 3 hours and hadn't done my first set of stretches. 👊 Done!

Of course, me being me, I want to increase my distance AND ... AND... AND.  I stopped myself. No jogging in this 1.6 miles (I snuck in half a block once this week, on a whim and feeling good); let's see how things feel with time. I discovered the route I'd plotted included what really wasn't a street, but an alleyway, and there was a piece of heavy equipment in it this morning, so I may need to re-plot a route. The hip requested ice, so I did ten minutes of that. I can tell that body part's been utilized - but no pain so far!

The PTA predicted I may only need 8 of the 12 visits. No carts in front of horses here; I'll take it as it comes.

I really didn't realize the progress I've made until the PTA went through questions: Any trouble or pain getting into or out of a car? No. I didn't remember having any, but her records say otherwise!  That's something I take for granted 😮

Any trouble getting dressed, or with daily routine? Now that I remember! Besides the inability to walk - and the death of my "90 minute or more of (recorded) exercise per week" streak - 83 weeks - poof! - I remember delicately balancing to minimize hip pain while trying to scoop a sock onto a foot. That's not happening now. Yay! 

I described my hip's needs to my younger coworker. She looked at me with fear and worry as she gently asked, "Will you have to do this ... "

"...for the rest of my life?" I finished for her. "Probably," I said. I remember being younger and fearing the sentence of being impaired for life. Like the oh, no, do I have to eat right and exercise for the whole rest of my life?!? LOL. Maybe as I get older, the rest of my life is less ominous to do something. Especially if it improves my quality of life. Like the hearing helpers.

"I haven't asked them, and they haven't told me," I continued. "But I figure I need to use this hip for the rest of my life, so I'll probably need to pay attention and do the exercises to keep it strong and working." A few clamshells several days a week and daily stretching is a small price to pay! Especially if I get to gradually walk longer distances.

Have a great day, friends! 💗

Wednesday Weigh-In: I come in peace

 157.2

I ordered new pants because of the number. But my current pants seem to fit better.

Oh! I remember this rodeo! Muscle takes up less space than fat, but it weighs more. PT (physical therapy) must be building some muscle. 

The exciting news in our household is the addition of this lovely unit:

I swear if it had greeted me yesterday, I would have greeted it back.  Very R2D2-esque, looking like a piece of equipment from the Enterprise in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

It is in actuality the battery to our new lawn mower. Hopefully easier to use. Definitely lighter (so much plastic!), I hear it will be quieter. Maybe that’s why the weekend tradition of waking up to the sound of lawn mowers is disappearing? Time marches one, and we’re dragged along with it.

Today is my last day of ‘vacation’. I got up and kept my work day routine - I am hopeful and grateful for the opportunity to nap later. After an early morning walk with OKM, I’ll be having lunch and shopping with DD for her birthday.

It’s been a busy time in nowhere! 😉

A silver lining

 Yes. I did go too far yesterday.

I went a mile today, and hope they average out and I hope I can walk the fairly new ‘usual’ of 1.3 miles tomorrow. We shall see.

On the bright side, I reached another ten mile milestone, and earned this delightful virtual badge:

“Life is short and then we all gather at that post-race celebration in the sky.”

🍾 

I saved it to my laptop desktop as DoD, and chuckled to think “Department of Defense”. Ah, acronyms!

But 30 minutes a day of exercise is part of my defense - against unhealthiness in multiple forms.

Would you take a daily pill if it kept you healthier and feeling younger? What if it took you 30 minutes to take that pill?

I guess my pill is exercise. At my annual checkup, I noticed the daily vitamins I take are recorded as “medications”. A few years ago, it felt like being ‘old’ to take the 7 pills a day...but today I am grateful that I don’t have to take anything else on the regular.

Here’s to aging as well as I can!

Did I go too far?

**duplicate post from sparkpeople.com**

 LOL, I am amusing myself with that blog title.

This is it, I'm spewing words into the universe - whatever happens, happens.
On my walk today, I was thinking about relationships, and my perceived lack of them. Relationships are hard. They require work. And I'm always hurting someone or they're hurting me so I avoid that.
My closest friends are virtual, I only half-joke, and the vehicle through which we relate - sparkpeople - is going away.
I have a friend IRL who is very similar to me. This friend's therapist once told them to examine their need for intimacy. Evidently it's not very strong. This person is the most polite, kind, but can be firm (set boundary) person I know. I wonder if I likewise prefer kind and polite and less messy ugly deep relationships?
Goodness, that was far afield of where I wanted to write.
What I came out here to say:
I walked 1.8 miles this morning.

I didn't mean to.
When I looked up and found myself further than I intended, I thought the street I meant to turn on wasn't cut through. Google maps shows it is - I just missed my turn.
The hip dictates activity.
I exited physical therapy yesterday - only the 3rd visit - feeling balanced and strong. But as long as hip pain is a jack-in-the-box, I am supposed to increase activity gradually. I have been walking 1.3 or 1.4 miles, so this is like a 23 percent increase in distance - yikes!
I iced the hip when I got home.
I'm sitting on a hard chair at the moment. I haven't heard that from a professional yet, but I have heard it from real people over the years that for some reason sitting on hard chairs is physically beneficial.
I did my first of 3 sets of stretching exercises.
I ate breakfast around 8. I've usually been at work for an hour by then, so I'm 2 hours "off schedule" there. Oh, well.
The good news is, no pain yet. The bad news is, I can't willy-nilly be active like I have been for ... um, all my life?
Never take walking for granted.
I'm thinking of popping corn and watching Men In Black.
I really am vacationing to nowhere!
I've also got a puzzle out.
It is so hard to sit still!
Yesterday the PT said, "Motion is lotion," so I gather I shouldn't be immobile. I think I've heard my PTA sister say that, too (SPINNINGJW).
I really, really want to trim the front walk iris, but that's what I did after the 4.5 mile walk that made me pay attention to the hip's needs. So I'm putting that off, especially since I accidentally walked too far.
One. Day. At. A. Time.
I am trying to find other things to do instead of eat. Turns out, most of what I did to stay away from the kitchen was more active than I knew (take a walk, walk the dog, pull some weeds, run errands, housework activity) - and I just feel so frustratingly hobbled!
Easy does it.
Let's hope the hip stays silent but not painful.
Like I told OKM's yesterday, I need to tap into the amazement and appreciation I saw on the PTA's face at appt 2: She was delighted at what I *could* do - I am sure she sees many patients who would be thrilled to be able to move as much as I do.
Time to count my blessings.

(Hugs)